Sallie Felton, Life Coach, Weblog

January 29, 2010

Stuckedness and Getting Help by Conway Felton

Filed under: Change, Transition, Depression, Life Coaching, Life Transitions, Uncategorized — Sallie Felton @ 11:26 pm

When I was newly married at 25 years of age my wife, Sallie and I had not lived together prior to our wedding. It was a time when parents of the ’60s  were not quite ready for this new living arrangement.  Had we done so, it is exceedingly unlikely we would have married, given my mannerisms/behavior under this cloud of depression.

Sallie saw first hand my moodiness, snappiness, anger, directed at myself , as well as my low self-esteem. If she chose to stay in our marriage,  she knew that she needed to take care of herself first..she needed support too. Therefore, her discussions with her primary care Doctor was the first step. The Doctor indicated that I certainly could get help. Depression makes others around them walk around on egg shells waiting for another outburst. Now she had to convince me that the inability to make decisions,  finding it hard at times to get out of bed coupled with flu-like symptoms was NOT the daily NORM of people. Needless to say it took weeks as she was able to finally help me look back at a series of events that led to seeing and understanding a pattern of life that did seem flawed.

Could I have ever gone to counseling on my own? Not likely. But I had a wife that was willing to support me. Did I feel our marriage might be doomed unless I went to counseling, I don’t recall but subconsciously I probably knew that might be the case. So I feel extremely fortunate to have a soul mate to steer me towards getting help. 

Sallie’s notes: It is very important for any partner/spouse who is in a relationship with someone with depression find support for themselves as well. We were newly married and I wondered about my future.  Did I want to raise children in this environment? Was this behavior normal? There had been a pattern through his family. And speaking with family sometimes is not helpful, as they too need to be educated. So, was I to  just accept this at face value and do nothing?  IT AGAIN WAS A CHOICE I HAD TO MAKE. I continued to read and educate myself on the subject of depression. I would continue to share this information with Conway and slowly we began to talk about it. It was because of the support and communication that  made a  difference for him. He was willing to go seek counseling and begin the process. More to come.

1 Comment »

  1. Sallie was there to help me when I needed it. Her help has allowed me to move to the place of my dreams in my life mentally and literally. I had a dream for several years to live in Napa Valley, CA and finally after years of thinking about it, I did it. Sallie literally talked me through it and helped me to realize and put into action what I already knew. Her feedback, motivation, and week-to-week talks really put so much in action. About 3 years prior to meeting with Sallie I had carried around a small ad of Sallie’s that I had cut out from a local magazine. I’d look at it from time to time wondering if I should give Sallie a call. Deep down I knew if I called her that would mean I would end up living out my dream and that scared me. I was afraid to take that leap out of the comfortable state in my life and into what I loved and dreamed of over and over again. Why did it take me so long, I’ll never know. Now a year and half later after having moved here to Napa, CA, I am unbelievable excited and loving every minute of it. I have a very successful career in the world of Social Media for a Winery, and have continued to build my photography client base with very prestigious wineries. I have so many new friends throughout the valley. If I were to offer any advice to someone reading this, I would say go with what is it in your heart. As Sallie always reminded “what speaks to your heart”. How does this affect your body’s response? Listen to your body, your heart and go with your intuition. When I have ups and downs (cause everyone does) I often think of my accomplishments and where I came from. I remember to believe in myself and stay in line with my goals and dreams. The more you believe in yourself, the more you stay positive, the more the world opens up for you with very little effort. You can do anything you put your mind to. Sallie was the person that inspired me, gave me courage, and held my hand through the process. She’s a friend, a wonderful person, and a great mentor both spiritually and in my career. Thank you Sallie 🙂

    Comment by Anonymous — February 24, 2010 @ 5:59 am

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