I was interviewed last Sunday by David Muraco on IN THE ZONE. Here is the link to that particular radio show:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com:80/coaching-in-the-zone/2010/04/26/coaching-in-the-zone
You might find some great tips in here about choosing what you wish to come into your life.
Sallie
Let me know what you think…
Buried Alive. That’s how the beginning of the phone call started. Three weeks ago our son, Corey, was in an avalanche in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, buried 5 feet down, and found unconscious by his brother, Taylor, and room mate, Topher. To make matters even more interesting, Corey was in a prior avalanche in Alaska just 10 months ago and had his ACL repaired.
So I ask how does one, as a parent deal with that type of call and stress? I have spent hours reflecting three things:
Upon flying to Jackson Hole to see Corey, I was met at the airport by our son, Taylo,r and our daughter, Sarah. I became acutely aware that Taylor’s hug was tighter than before and his arms engulfed me. We just stood there, nestled in each other, whispering how glad we were to see each other. (Little did I know that Taylor had also been slid and was able to grab onto a tree). Sarah joined the reunion of stretched out arms. It was a few days later when she realized she could have lost two brothers. Reality hit her hard.
There was something very different in the demeanor of Taylor. I got a sense he knew what it was like to have glimpsed death.
When I saw Topher, I told him that I could not cook enough home cooked dinners to make up for what he did. I owed him more than I had and then some. He saved our son from being buried alive! I wondered how he was processing this.
I looked out at the fields of snow realizing that as a parent we cannot say when and where the lifetime of our children ends. It is not in our hands, but what I am sure about is HOW we choose to live our lives. Living just to exist is worse than living to LIVE.
Being ever present is a profound way to live one’s life. I realize that even more.
Both my husband and I will worry about what they do. They have chosen a lifestyle that lives on the edge. It is their profession. However, they have been well trained, educated and are very aware of the risks.
I had a friend say to me, “Sallie, how can you continue to have them do this? They could die!” Yes, they could, but “I WOULD BE KILLING THEM EVEN MORE IF I WERE TO ASK THAT THEY STOP DOING WHAT THEY LOVE.”
I can’t do that; they would lose their spirit, their passion, and their zest for life. The flicking of the candle would die.
So I ask they each tell us what they are doing, what they have learned, what are their dreams…and I listen. And I listen some more. So much that I hear their heart’s beat with enthusiasm. For they are living their lives exactly they want too and buried in the thrill of life.
Thanks for listening…I needed that.
I ask you, what would you do if you were a parent? What would you do differently? And who would it benefit?
Sallie Felton
Life Coach
Transition Specialist
International Talk Radio Host
LIST OF GOALS COMPLETED TO DATE:
# 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30
NEW GOALS COMPLETED OVER THE MONTH:
#4 My cottage industry, The Rocking Horse, has begun to gallop. Though it is a work in progress, it has been focused on for the past couple of weeks. There will be pictures that need to be taken of the product line, but those will be added as the items are made. Sometimes I thought I couldn’t get this done, especially since I am not a techie, but persistence is one of my core values…and I don’t give up easily! One step at a time.
#6 Remember how I was leaving this for last. Well I have not…I have taken all the kids photo albums and gotten three boxes (one for each). In the evenings, by the fire, and watching a movie, I have removed the best pictures of each and placed them into their respective boxes. Duplicates I have tossed, and any blurred ones, also tossed. How many pictures do we need of the same birthday party, Holidays, first bike ride etc…save the best.
I will chronologically place and label each of the pictures into their albums. Scanning did not hold that heart felt sentiment for me as reviewing the past and creating a journey. Each to his/her own, but it worked for me.
#11 I have asked my sister, Nina, to help me with, as this is right up her ally and I love her taste!
#19 Stone wall all repaired before the snow fell.
#29 Decided the hot yoga classes were just to hot for me, so I joined another excersice class. Feeling great!!!
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT…IF I CAN DO IT SO CAN YOU.
What I learned:
A year is a long time….keeping up is a commitment, but the end result for me is feeling tremendously accomplished. No one said that this would be a walk in the park, and many times I believed I took on way too much. However, after three months into it I had two choices: continue or give up.
If I continued I knew that I was accountable to all who read this blog and to all those in my radio land. To quit meant to not even try to succeed. I could have used any number of excuses, but I would be cheating myself of two things:
1. what would I learn about myself by accomplishing these goals? and 2. how would my goals serve me in the end?
I can say to you as I end 2008 that I not only surprised myself but others.
My tip:
START WHERE YOU STAND.
Set small goals
Be specific, make them measureable, attainable, realistic, and time-oriented.
GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE TO SUCCEED.
if not now…when? Tell me your own story…I would love to offer you support..
Wishing you and yours a very safe, warm Holiday Season
Warmly,
Sallie
LIST OF GOALS COMPLETED TO DATE:
# 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27 28, 30 (25 COMPLETED…5 TO GO!)
CAN’T BELIEVE THAT I LAST POSTED JULY 20!!! I AM SORRY, THE DECLUTTERING HAS TAKEN OVER AND THE ACCOUNTABILITY TO SHARE MY PROGRESS GOT PUT ASIDE.
NEW GOALS COMPLETED:
#7 More went out to Salvation Army, www.freecycle.org,
#3 Took more to the consignments stores, love getting those monthly checks.
#5, #20 All upstairs drawers and closets are done. Downstairs: living room, dining room, office, breakfast room, and den are all completed!! Storage area above the back hall has been torn apart, reorganized, all records or documents in appropriate chronological order: each child has their own important document box…labeled.
#23 Got rid of more funiture we simply won’t use. Simplicity is looking better and better.
#25 Took all the unused paint to the town environment day. They took 24 paint cans plus a $$fee for recycling. I asked them what they do with all that, seeing the haz mat team ahead of me in their white garb and jumpsuits. IT GETS USED FOR FUEL!!
IF YOU HAVE ANY UNUSED, LEFTOVER PAINTS, CALL A SCHOOL OR A THEATRE COMPANY, THEY MAY VERY WELL USE THEM FOR THEIR PROPS…AGAIN POST ON WWW.FREECYCLE.ORG THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO WILL COME AND GET IT.
#27 The dog and I are learning new tricks…Kathleen O’Connell (KATO405@comcast.net), a dog trainer is helping me with dog aggression. Our loveable Misty feels she has to assert her being while meeting another dog on walks. Now both of us are getting the lessons we need while I am increasing my excersise routine! This is great~
WHAT I HAVE LEARNED:
Even though I have not shared these past 4 months with you: I never gave up continuing to work away at this. I kept myself always having the finish line in sight and what that would look like…the end result, the goal. This has been a long process, but if one takes chunks, breaks it down it can be done!!! So go for it.
Remember to renew, reuse, recycle: be environmentally friendly.
Here’s a tip: got a clogged drain? Well I tried this and it worked! Pour 1 cup baking soda in the drain, then pour 1 cup vinegar in the drain; one minute later, follow with 1 pint boiling water. DRAIN FREE!!
WHAT’S NEXT ON THE LIST?
5 more left to do…whew…and 2 of them, are of course the ones I have been leaving to the last…why, because i REALLY DON’T WANT TO DO THEM.
#4 make a new website for the Rocking Horse with photos
#6 organize all the photographs from past years, put into individual albums for each child
(they are already in albums, but this next step is removing each one and sorting per child)
#11 will be done in the next three weeks
#19 stone wall will be fixed today
#29 look into different Yoga classes in the next 2 weeks
So there you have it, the last 5.
Do I hear a drum roll? Do I hear cheering in the background?? I hear the quiet conviction of making a goal and following through, even when hitting the wall. It’s those lessons learned of structuring a way for each job to get done…but it has to work for YOU.
So as 2008 comes to a close, what might you select to have as your goal for 2009. Share your thoughts, I would love to read them.
Check out our new decluttering book: www.clutterfreeandclear.com
written by myself and 8 other internationally renowned authors; chapters full of tips, hints, worksheets. From Clutter from the Inside Out, Feng Shui, Computer Clutter, Time Management, Finding Your Strengths, decluttering Relationships, Downsizing, to How to Simplify for the Holidays… everything to make it easier for you to get a grib on your own clutter.
Will continue to update you, Warmly, Sallie
sallie@salliefeltonlifecoach.com
http://salliefelton.blogspot.com
http://www.boomercoffeehouse.com/index.php/self_expression/category/C20/
LISTS OF GOALS COMPLETED TO DATE:
#S 1,2,3,7,9,10,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,21,22,24,26,28,30 (19 out of 30…11 more to go!)
NEW GOALS COMPLETED IN THE PAST MONTH:
#7 To more items to Salvation Army last week
#25 Completely tore through Taylor’s closet, now neat and organized
Room reorganized…new curtains, new rug (not brand new….an older one I had that I loved)
Drawers and closets cleaned out:
Dining room, kitchen: pots and pans, silverware, glasses, dishes, cupboards of food, utensils, table cloths; den, all underneath cabinets; laundry room, shelves cleaned, old socks used as rags and dusters
#10 Bought new couches for the den, to be delivered on July 20
#26 Continue to call old friends! and reconnect
#30 Making early morning habits stick!
#28 Making sure that I eat breakfast each morning and not get onto my laptop the first thing in the morning!!
RECEIVED A CHECK FROM THE CONSIGNMENT STORE!
WHAT I LEARNED:
Have you ever noticed “when one door closes another one opens”. For example, after spending all this time decluttering, ridding my house of all the things that we no longer needed…my husband’s parent’s house sold and the furniture needed to be divided amongst the three grown siblings. (There was a moment of panic when I thought of all the furniture and other stuff that would now be descending on and into the house…after 6 months of cleaning and clearing, ugh!). Here is where the door opened.
For years we had not used the living room because pieces of furniture were being moved from one place, it became the “storage” unit for my own family of origins furniture, nic nacs, paintings, etc…until I decided what to do with it all. I must admit the living room was not a high priority on my list. The thought of redecorating, covering and reupholster was daunting and costly. We lived in our den which we always found to be more cozy with roaring fires, especially in the cold winters.
When Conway came back from selecting what he might like from his parent’s house, I was surprised to learn that much of what he selected would have been my choice too. AND THEY ALL WERE LIVING ROOM FURNITURE PIECES! Last night we had his family over for dinner, we used the living room for the first time in four years! It gave them and us great pleasure to see where the furniture from their past was now living. “Sallie, that looks perfect there, it was meant to be.” “Wow, I remember where that was in the old house, it looks fabulous here.” I know that they all had a first glance at spying one or more pieces, I am sure as they continue to return, they will trip over another piece from their past. Certainly seeing the pleasure on their faces made my night.
So just when you think you have cleaned out something and have all your ducks in a row, don’t be surprised if some other door opens. Greet it with enthusiasm and curiosity, you never know where it will take you.
RENEW, REUSE, RECYCLE:
I learned something new on Good Morning America today; it was all about the new movement to SWAP. As the economy gets tighter, more individuals are swapping their skills and talents for items. Example: a woman needed dental work but could not afford the procedure. It was her dentist that approached her and said that he would be more than happy to take care of her dog in return for the procedure. So check out craigslist or swap.com for more tips.
WHAT’S NEXT:
#7 To more items to Salvation Army last week
Move all inherited furniture to storage unit for kids’ future houses
Take painting to auction house
Go through my closet on a rainy day this week
Go through all my drawers in my bedroom
Redo and reorganize linen closet
#5 Tackle Corey’s closet…when that is done the entire upstairs will be FINISHED!!!
#3 Take more to the consignment store
#8 Hot tub fell through, so I need to try and sell that one more time
So what are you struggling with?
What would you like to bring into your life?
Remember be SMART: S-specific; M-measureable; A-attainable; R-realistic; T-time oriented
Warmly,
Sallie
Life Coach and International Talk Radio Host
LISTS OF GOALS COMPLETED TO DATE:
NEW GOALS COMPLETED IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS TO BE ADDED TO THE ABOVE:
#3 took more to the consignment store and I got a check in the mail today!!!
#12 the garage is completely cleaned; grown kids came back for a visit and went through everything they did not want….more for freecycle!
#24 the walls of the garage are all straightened with items lining up and put back in their place
(I see I have accomplished 18 out of my 30 goals total…not bad, half a year, another half to go)
WHAT I LEARNED:
This past month was more than a bit chaotic. One of our sons was in an avalanche in Haines, Alaska. For the past three to four weeks he has been here recuperating with a repaired ACL. Unfortunately for him, I was walking through the den asking questions of whether or not he wanted “x,y,z, “or did he want me to freecycle it. We got a tremendous amount done, especially when it came to dealing with the garage. We put a couch in the corner of the garage, plopped Corey on top of it and brought items down from the attic one at a time. “Want it, need it, donate it?” Daughter, Sarah, went up into the attic and said, “Mom, there is nothing up here anymore!” (What a great statement that was to hear…yup, it will be less for all of them to dispose of someday).
Sarah went down memory lane reading her old journals, parting with some letters, artwork, and notes from grade school classes. She could not believe she held on to some of it. Taylor wanted to hold on to almost nothing…too much to cart around. Corey kept his best paper from college.
I feel lighter by far. Though some of the kids stuff is still being moved out of the house, I am getting areas of the house to become more open and less occupied by furniture that we don’t need or want.
RENEW, REUSE, RECYCLE:
I giggled to myself as I carted all the items which came out of my parents beach house back to Hamilton to put on freecycle. They were curtain rods, posters of clipper ships which my father had saved, books, paperbacks, more boat posters. My sisters laughed saying that no one would take them…I HAD THE LAST LAUGH…Within 24 hours all the items were gone! I sent an email to each of them regaling my wins.
Remember, what we might think is trash is clearly someone else’s treasure.
WHAT’S NEXT:
7. took half a sectional to salvation army…where they promptly asked, “Where’s the rest of it?”
had to bring it back home….now what???
25. need to call the town hall to ask about paint disposal policy
finish putting away kids things
go through Corey’s closet
go through Taylor’s closet
go through my closet
go through kitchen drawers
how are you all doing, would love to hear your comments.
Sallie
Life Coach and International Talk Radio Host
sallie@salliefeltonlifecoach.com
LISTS OF GOALS COMPLETED TO DATE:
NEW GOALS COMPLETED IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS TO BE ADDED TO THE ABOVE:
#14 the loft above the mudroom is completely sorted, reorganized, and boxes labeled. all unwanted items were freecycled
#18 planted one half of the vegetable garden, other half to be done in two weeks when the weather is a bit warmer
#22 completed going through every file in all the cabinets: shed, simplify, combined
#26 all living room cabinets under the bookcase have been cleaned out and simplified (HUSBAND LUCKED OUT AND ACQUIRED TWO MORE CABINETS FOR HIS PERSONAL FILING)
#3 took more to the consignment store
WHAT I LEARNED:
At first I was daunted by the amount of stuff in the loft. As we do not have an attic or basement, much of the items we want to keep protected ends up there. Extra lampshades, pictures, small rugs, kids pottery, sentimental childhood items (kid’s personal ones), current paints etc. In my mind I sectioned off the space and did 1/4 of the area at a time. This made the space DOABLE and MEASURABLE. Remember the SMART goals: s-specific, simple; m-measurable; a-attainable; r-realistic; t-time oriented.
RENEW, REUSE, RECYCLE:
Again, my new best friend is freecycle.org. When there is something I don’t need or could think someone would use it more than myself…on it goes…posted onto freecycle. During my last post, I thought I beat my personal best with someone instantly responding to a post. Well you should have seen the response when I posted a digital camera and printing dock!!! Yes, I could have spent the time and posted it for $ on EBay or Craigslist, but I find the sooner the items are out of here, the better I feel. TO BE ABLE TO MOVE AROUND IN THE LOFT WITH NOTHING UNDERFOOT is a breath of fresh air.
WHAT’S NEXT:
7. another batch to go to the consignment store tomorrow
25. call the Town Hall and ask them what their policy is on recycling and disposing of paints environmentally
How are you all doing? Would love to hear your comments.
Sallie
sallie@salliefeltonlifecoach.com
LISTS OF GOALS COMPLETED TO DATE:
NEW GOALS COMPLETED IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS TO BE ADDED TO THE ABOVE:
# 17 all garden beds are simplified
# 9 the painting for the kitchen, breakfast room, den, back-hall are all scheduled for the late fall
# 8 I have a buyer for the hot tub!
# 13 the potting shed is completely cleaned and all extra supplies have been freecycled
# 16 all bushes and trees have been pruned
Yes, one could say the weather could not have been more perfect for me to get the grubby clothes on and hit the dirt running. With shovels, loppers, water and good nights sleeping….every bit of energy has been spent outside. In New England the weather can change in an instant. Remember in some of my past blogs I stressed to make sure a priority is time. Exactly, for me, choosing to work outdoors in the good weather is picking time and place critically. I could say I still needed to work inside, but the summer weather will be hotter and I will be able to accomplish inside whatever is on the list during the heat or rain.
WHAT I LEARNED:
Even though it was 60 degrees this past week, in the attic of the garage it was 85 degrees and getting hotter. Smart to work on uncluttering that area while I could feeling energized. I realized that this area needs to be accomplished much earlier in the Spring season. So this will be next on my list.
(what I also learned…proofread again for spelling mistakes in my blogs!!! lol)
RENEW, REUSE, RECYCLE:
My husband is quite worried.I am running a marathon. Whatever I clean out, I put on freecycle.org. It is fast paced and hard to keep up. By the time I post what I want to declutter on the site, there is someone who wants it. Beat my own personal record…posted the item and within 2 minutes it was spoken for!!! I LOVE IT. Makes my day to know it will be used. This is addicting. Challenges me even more. There are 24 articles that will be picked up here today. 24 items that will not go in the landfill! 24 items that will be renewed and reused…all because of recycling.
so check the site out: freecycle.org or craigslist
WHAT’S NEXT:
1. Decluttering the other half of the garage attic
2. Cleaning out another cabinet in the living room
3. Taking newer items to the consignment store
4. Freecycling items that are up in the loft
whew….I AM DRUMMING FASTER THAN THE ENERGIZER BUNNY!!!
How are you all doing??
Sallie
sallie@salliefeltonlifecoach.com
Accountability:
In the past week I have:
1. I have collated, hole punched all articles and photos of our son’s last 5 years on the professional freeskiing circuit. This has been something that I have wanted to complete for so long, but kept putting it off because it looked so daunting. And now here it is, labeled with tabs, so any other information can be easily entered. What a great feeling!!!!
2. All business files are done and each night before I leave the office the paper is filed
THIS IS CREATING A GOOD HABIT!!
3. All books in my office have been organized by author’s name and categorized by topics
4. OFFICE COMPLETED!!
5. Tackled one of the cabinets in the living room. I stored financial papers which are no longer necessary to keep. Shredded them all. One cabinet down…three more to go.
6. Put four items on the freecycle list in the morning ….by the afternoon they were all gone, and picked up here at the house.
I am on a roll…………….
What I Learned:
One Step at a time….I know I keep saying that, but it is true. A little bit…just being able to reorganize all the books in my office, was a huge undertaking. But I did one shelf at a time. Less daunting to me that to take all the books out and see them in a huge pile. So figure out what works best for YOU.
Cannot believe the freedom I feel with having people take what I don’t want. Knowing that they can use them only spurs me on to do more!!! Even my husband is a bit scared to come home now, fearing what might not be here!
Hints: Recycling all the shredding materials to use as packing materials. Put them all in a see-through container or garbage bag (labelled) and store in the basement or by packing supplies. Will use it around the Holidays.
What’s Next:
1. Today is a warmer day, so I am going out into the Tool Shed, Goal #13 and working at freecyling all those extra garden supplies I do not need. If you don’t want to freecycle use Craigslist.org.
2. Will do another cabinet in the living room.
How are you all coming along with your projects?
Warmly and with motivation,
Sallie
sallie@salliefeltonlifecoach.com
978-626-0090
LIST OF GOALS COMPLETED TO DATE:
#21, #1, #7, #2, #30, #15, #22, #26, #3, #7 ongoing weekly
What I Learned:
I am amazed that nine of my goals for 2008 have already been complete. That is 9 out of 30!! Not bad and it is already March. The momentum continues and as I gather the next group of goals, I find myself like a steam engine…..this can be contageous.
Accountability:
#1 goal of Redoing my entire filing system for my business is now COMPLETE! Recycled 8 paper bags of paper!
#7 goal taking those unneeded items to be donated or on freecycle are constantly being tended too. Posted items on freecycle and they were gone in 24 hours….
Donated Sarah’s blue prom dress and an ecru chifon skirt. Took them to the dry cleaners where they are having a drive for prom dresses, they loved them! What a wonderful feeling to know that some girl will be able to go because of Sarah’s generosity.
Hints/Tips: Do a little at a time…one shelf, one drawer, one closet…take your time. It will get done.
Recycke:Remember to donate: here is a place for your books!!
What’s Next:
Have begun to tackle one shelf at a time in my office. By tonight I should be finished.
Living Room, downstairs bathroom, dining room will be next…one shelf, one draw, one closet at a time
So how are you doing?
Sallie
Sallie Felton, Life Coach, Weblog 